


The Mystery of the Missing Cereal

by marvelfan



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angry Clint, Cereal, Gen, Knife Throwing, Prank Wars, Spying, Swearing, food stealing, get to know your teammates better, non Canon, steve and bucky are little shits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-04 21:39:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4153956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelfan/pseuds/marvelfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone in the Avengers tower keeps stealing Clint's favorite cereal. He sets out on a mission to find out who it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mystery of the Missing Cereal

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a prompt/sentence starter on Tumblr that said "Who wouldn't be, you ate all my cereal and faked your death for three years!" I decided to modify it a bit for this story. As always, if I missed anything in the tags, let me know. It's unbeta'd so any mistakes are all on me. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy it!

The last week had been rough. Clint was on a mission that didn't go so well, but he eventually got his mark and saved the day. All he thought about on the plane ride back to the tower was how he just wanted to sit on the couch watching stupid tv shows while eating his cereal. This wasn't just any cereal, this was Hawkeye cereal from The Avengers brand of cereal that some company made. The actual cereal part were letters that spelled Hawkeye, while the marshmallows were shaped like tiny little arrows. He loved his cereal.

When he got back, the first thing he did was march into the kitchen to pour himself a bowl. However, when he reached into the cabinet for it, he noticed that one of his boxes were missing. "Who ate my cereal" he asked out loud, despite nobody being there to answer him. "JARVIS, who ate my cereal?"

"I'm afraid I am not at liberty to say, Agent Barton" the A.I. replied.

"Seriously? I swear to God if it was Tony, I'm going to shoot arrows at him in his lab" he said as he stormed down to Tony's lab to question him.

"Did you eat my cereal" he asked, sounding angry while he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Nice to see you too, bird man. And no. Why would I eat your cereal? Leave me alone, I have work to do. This new armor isn't going to build itself you know. Although, I'm sure I could program my robots to build it for me if I want".

Clint turned around and walked away, knowing that if he stayed, Tony would just ramble on and on about how his robots could do anything and how great he was. Clint didn't care. He just wanted his cereal. He went back up to the kitchen and poured himself the remaining bits from his last box he had. "Poor cereal. I'll figure out who stole you" he mumbled to himself.

After eating, he went out to the store to pick up some more cereal. It was quick and easy to eat, and it had him on the cover - he loved it. When he returned to the tower, he put his boxes of cereal in the pantry and headed off to bed after a long ass day.

*

The next morning, Clint walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. Natasha was at the table eating cereal and Bruce was surprisingly there eating some fruit. The dude liked to eat healthy, what could he say. Clint opened the cabinet and again saw that a box of cereal was missing - he bought five last night and there was only four there this morning.

"Who the fuck is stealing my cereal" he said, as he turned around to face Natasha and Bruce looking at each other and then at Clint.

"Wasn't me" Bruce said, with that half happy smile, half sad smile.

Clint looked at Natasha expectantly. "Don't look at me. I have my own cereal thank you very much. Did you ask Tony?"

"Of course I asked Tony. He said he didn't do it. JARVIS won't tell me who did it, which is why I think Stark is lying to me. I'm going to find out who is stealing my shit".

"Good luck" she said.

Clint returned to the kitchen to pour himself a bowl. He was so frustrated that someone keeps stealing his food. It's not nice and he doesn't find it that hilarious (although he gives whoever it is credit for doing it). He began thinking about how to catch the perpetrator and settled on good old fashioned spy cameras.

He went down to the equipment room and grabbed three. After he returned to the kitchen, he set one camera up on the far left end of the room, one on the far right end, and one he drilled into the top of the cabinet, so it would be facing down at whoever opened the cabinet to get his cereal. Whoever it was shouldn't notice the top camera. Now all he had to do was wait.

*

It was two days before another box of cereal was missing. Clint was excited to finally find out who was stealing his food. He went to where he placed the far left camera in the room, but it wasn't there. _Hmmm_ , he thought. He went to the far right spot of the room where he placed the other camera. Again, it was missing. _Seriously_ , he thought. He highly doubted that anyone would have found the top camera, but to his surprise, that one was missing as well. "WHAT THE FUCK" he yelled out.

"Whoa, you okay there Clint" Steve asked.

"No, I'm not okay. I swear Tony keeps stealing my cereal. I set cameras up to catch him but they're all missing. JARVIS probably told him. I swear they're conspiring together. I hate this".

"I'm sorry to hear that" Steve said.

"Not your fault, Cap. Ugh, I'm going to go down to the range. See ya later" he said, walking out of the room to go to the range to work off his frustration.

*

Bucky walked into the kitchen almost immediately after Clint left. "How long do ya think it'll take him t' figure out it's us that's stealin' his cereal" he asked, looking at Steve.

"Dunno, Buck. But it is funny watching him think it's Tony".

Bucky chuckled at that one. "Yeah it is".

"If he doesn't figure it out in the next few days, then we should tell him it was us" Steve said.

"Awww, Stevie, do we have ta" Bucky whined.

"Yeah, Buck, we have to" he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "I just don't understand why he doesn't ask JARVIS to see the video feed he records. It wasn't like he told JARVIS he couldn't show him the video" he said.

"Because God forbid anyone in this tower use their brains. I bet none of them expected us to be a couple of pranksters though. They had no idea what was comin' when we moved in here" Bucky said, grinning like a fool.

"I don't know why they all think I'm some goody too-shoes. I was in the army" he said, shrugging his shoulders.

Bucky snorted at that. "Hah! You were a little shit way before the army, Stevie. You were always gettin' into trouble n' startin' fights left n' right with people. You pulled pranks on bullies in grade school and they never found out who it was. Don't even get me started on that shit you pulled in the army. These people would go out of their minds if they ever knew".

Steve was smiling like he just won the lottery. "S'not my fault people never asked about what I was like before waking up. They only know me as Captain America; they don't know Steve Rogers. And they certainly don't know you" he said, poking Bucky's chest with his pointer finger.

He shrugged his one shoulder nonchalantly. "Eh, of well. Other than you, Natasha is the only one that really knows me, well, a part of me I should say" he said, walking over and picking up the knife that is laying on the counter. He turned around to meet Steve's very confused face. He put his fingers up to his lips in a shushing motion, nodding his head off to the hallway. He mouthed "Natasha" and Steve nodded his head in understanding. "She saw me during her Red Room days. I helped train her. She was good, probably the best they had" he said.

"I don't doubt that. Natasha is a hell of a woman and agent. I'm glad she's on our side" he said, watching Bucky get ready to throw the knife. Before he could say anything else, Bucky threw the knife at the hallway, just barely missing Natasha by a centimeter, as she peaked around the corner.

"What the hell, Barnes" she asked, irritated that he threw a knife at her head.

"Shouldn't be spyin' on us" he replied.

She glared at him and then at Steve. "You let him throw a knife at me" she asked in her cool, calm voice.

"Like he said, you shouldn't spy on us" he said, standing up straight, puffing his chest out and crossing his arms, raising one eyebrow at her.

"And you shouldn't steal Clint's cereal" she replied, crossing her arms now in defense.

"We're not" Bucky said.

"Uh huh, and I'm blond. It wasn't me, it wasn't Bruce, and Tony's been in his lab for the past two days. That leaves you two".

"Ever think it was one of Tony's robots that came and got the cereal, or maybe Bruce is lying? Or maybe you're lyin'. You are one of the best liars we know. How do we know you're tellin' the truth" Bucky asked.

"You boys know I'm telling the truth" she said as she turned on her heel and walked out of the room.

Bucky and Steve just looked at each other. "I give him two days then we tell him" Steve said. Bucky nodded in agreement.

*

Two days had passed and Clint still couldn't find any proof that Tony was stealing his cereal. He walked into the lounge area right outside the kitchen, finding Bucky and Steve curled up on the couch together watching a movie. "Hey" he said, announcing his presence to them.

"Hey Clint" they both said, almost in unison.

"Have you guys seen who has been taking my cereal?"

The two supers soldiers shared a look, but it was Clint that spoke first.

"What? What is it? What do you know?" he asked.

"Come sit down" Steve said as he motioned to the loveseat that was next to the couch. Clint sat down and looked at them expectantly, wanting to know that they know. Steve looked at Bucky and then at Clint. "We have something to tell you" he said.

"Spit it out Cap" Clint said.

Steve's face hardened for a split second, but then relaxed. "Me and Bucky have been the ones stealing your cereal" he said, looking embarrassed at his confession. Bucky was looking at Clint with a blank face, something that everyone in the tower was used to.

Clint opened his mouth to speak, but then shut it. He repeated this three more times before he finally spoke up. "Why the hell were you stealing my cereal" he asked, still confused but slightly upset.

"We were bored" Bucky said, still with a blank face.

"Bored? Let me get this straight. You two were bored so you decided to steal my cereal?" He waited for them both to nod before continuing. "But why me, and why my cereal?"

"You were the only person in the room when we got the idea to prank someone. And we noticed that you really like your cereal. That's how we decided" Steve said, slightly less embarrassed. "Are you mad at us?"

"Who wouldn't be angry? You two ass clowns fake your deaths for 70 years, come back, act all goody goody" he looked at Steve when he said that last part, "and then stole all my cereal. You two are a bunch of pranksters. I'm telling the team" he said, like a child that is going to rat on his brothers.

"If it helps, I'm pretty certain that NATASHA knew" Bucky said, yelling her name.

"Fuck you, Barnes" she yelled back, never showing herself, but Bucky and Steve could hear her retreat.

"I see you both, especially you Cap, in a whole new light" he said, studying the two soldiers in front of him. "This means war" he said as he got up and walked out of the room.

Bucky waited until Clint was out of the room to speak. "Just watch yourself as you pass under any open air vents in the ceiling. He likes to nest in them".

And that is how The Great Prank War of 2015 started in the Avengers Tower. 


End file.
